Thanks for stopping buy!

Your mission if you choose to accept it. Is to try to interpret the information given to you by someone who knows nothing about what they want!

This is a web site for those who are in retail sales. This is the place to see that you are not the only one to hear these words!

"Do you know what I'm looking for?"

"If I were a Flag where would I be?"

"Would this look good in my Bathroom?"

These are just a few, of the stupidest questions, that you could ask a sales person. First I can't read minds, if you were a flag you would be on top of our flag pole, and I have never been in your bathroom, so I have no idea!

 "Can you tell me where the canned beans are?"

Yes, (but do I want too!) They are in the canned food aisle.

I am working in the paint section of a large dept store. A customer walks up and asks.

"Where are the diapers?" (Wrong dept.)

"Do you have any distilled water?" (Wrong dept.)

"I'm going overseas do you have any of those things?" (Wrong dept.)

"I need one of those things you put in the back of a toilet" (are they the same thing?)

"Can you mix me some paint?" yes. what color? "I don't know!" ( Neither do I )

"Where are the electric razors?" (Wrong dept.)

"You had them right here last month, You must have moved them!" (Wrong dept.)

"I got a toaster 3 years ago, and you had them right here!" (Wrong dept.)(Wrong store!)

"Where are the ceiling fans?"  right above you.

"Where are your light bulbs?"  right behind you.

"Where are your bicycle pumps?"  ( Under the bicycles! )

"Where would you find the plastic you put in gardens?" (??)

I worked in the electronic section for a couple of years. One of the best,  a lady came in and asked for the Elvis music.

I took her over and showed her the assortment. Her reply was, "I have all these songs. Don't you have any new ones?"

I was afraid to break the news to her that Elvis died 20 years ago!

The lady with the Bag!

You are on the cash register, there is a line all the way to electronics. A lady walks up puts down 20 items. You ring them up, give her the total of  $35.59.  She looks at you and asks "How much was that?". $35.59!

She lifts her bag and puts it on the checkout, unzips it, reaches in and pulls out here purse. unsnaps it pulls out a twenty, a ten and a five dollar bill.  (Makes sure the ones stay in their place.)

Now she snaps it up puts it back into her bag. Looks around to find her change purse. Gets it out and unsnaps it. Starts to look for the change.

 Finds a quarter. Stops looks up at you and asks "How much was that?"

 $35.59 you tell her.

She puts the quarter on the counter searches around and looks for another quarter. Can't find it so she goes for the dimes. pulls out 2 than asks. "How much?"

$35.59 you have $35.00 and 45 cents there.

 Grabs two nickels and counts out 4 pennies.

You pick them up, say thank you in your nicest tone of voice. now you have to put the coins in their right spot in the register. You finish the sale and give her the receipt.

She takes it looks at it to make sure all the items are right, than puts it into her change purse, snaps it. Than into her bag. Now she picks up both bags, and leaves.

By this time, it is now your break time and you still have a line! and some angry looks!

Here is another one!  A gentleman comes up to me and says his wife wants white paint.

I ask is it interior or exterior. "Wait a minute I'll get her" (I wait) "I want white paint it's for my living room."

OK do you want flat satin or semi gloss? "It's for my lining room and I want white paint!"

Ok we have white paint right here and you can get it in a flat finish a satin finish, or we also have it in a semi gloss finish.

"I don't care as long as it is white."

Husband chimes in- "Look he just wants to know what finish you want. "

"I don't care as long as it is white paint!."

"Give us the flat."

Ok would you like me to shake it up for you?

"Are you sure it's white paint?"

Yes it says so on the can.

"Well that doesn't mean it's white! There are a lot of white paint that isn't white!! I want white paint!"

Husband- for %%$#@ %$^# It's white paint! She does this all the time. Just give us the paint!

Ok would you like me to shake it for you?

"Yes." ( I shake the paint give it to them.)

Is there anything else I can get you?

Woman- "Are you sure this is white paint?"

Husband-  %$#@&^%  (than leaves me with her?)

I'll open the can for you.

"I guess it is white, it better be when I paint the room."

Have a nice day!

Here are some everyday questions:

Do you work here? ( No I just dress up like this for Halloween!)

Is this your department?  (No I'm just standing here guarding the store from idiot's like you!)

I only buy American made! Where is that stuff?  ( Which America,  North, South or Central )

Now just to let you know not just customers are the dumb ones  !

Things you hear over the intercom!

"Julie if you are still in the store call 101" (AND IF YOU ARE NOT CALL ??)

"NEED A MEMBER OF MANAGEMENT TO TURN OFF THE FIRE ALARM!"   (WHY NOT CALL THE FIRE DEPT??)